Why You Never Make a Vixen Mad
by DarkScales
Summary: A oneshot on why you never mess with vixens. Especially if said vixen is Kyuubi's mate, who happens to be quite angry that he got himself sealed in yet another human... again. AU where Naruto is blind. Rated T because... well, Jiraiya's presence alone warrants it, and for slight violence.


**Okay, I know I should be working on the next chapter for Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Could-Speak-to-Pokemon, but I typed up this story pretty fast and figured I'd post it. Since this is my first time writing for the Naruto fandom, and also because I have zero experience with Japanese, please tell me if anything is inaccurate! Also, to those of you who are Japanese, and happen to read this, please tell me if I spelled anything wrong or messed up on the suffixes. **

**On a different note, I have put up a poll for my HP/Pokemon story. So if you're reading that, please vote! I base my decisions on what the readers want, so please let me know. You can also vote through a review or PM if you don't have an account.**

**_IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!_ Now, back to this oneshot. It's based on an AU I thought up where Kyuubi is a good guy, Naruto is blind, and he is also more powerful than in canon. This oneshot is told from the POV of Naruto's demon fox animal partner, who happens to be a seven-tailed and the eldest son of Kyuubi. He, his dad, and Naruto all share a telepathic bond. Naruto also holds the Fox contract.**

**The rest of the details, you don't really need to know for this oneshot. Maybe if you really want I can post the story, but right now it's just a plot bunny hopping around. I haven't actually gotten around to writing it down yet. So, please let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, however much I wish I did. But if you read my Legend of Zelda story Honor Among Thieves, you might find a few references... (hint, hint)**

* * *

We were headed back to Konoha with her future Hokage in tow when She appeared.

My first warning was when I caught a whiff of her scent on the breeze, but when I went to investigate tfhere was nothing there. I sensed no genjutsu and to all appearances there was nothing wrong.

However, when She stepped out of the woods to block the road in front of us, I knew that we were in deep s***.

She had long blond hair and shined like gold when it caught the sun, a chest that was almost as big as Tsunade's, and ruby red eyes that glinted like gemstones. She was dressed in tasteful clothes that both looked good and wouldn't get in the way during battle. In short, she was beautiful. Jiraiya, of course, was ogling her pervertedly.

I was terrified.

She walked up to us with an innocent smile, but I wasn't fooled. She had a look in her eye that I knew meant somebody was going to get one h*** of a bearing, and I hoped to Kami it wouldn't be me. I'd even be willing to throw my dad under the bus if I could get out of taking the fall for this one. She was that pissed.

"Excuse me," she asked Kit sweetly. "but would you happen to be Uzumaki Naruto?"

He nodded and cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Yeah, why?"

I gulped nervously from my perch on his shoulder. We were so screwed.

She grinned, flashing a pointed fang our direction. "I just need you to get somebody for me. Somebody that I know you're in contact with. And don't lie, I know you can," she said sternly. "I need you to summon Kurama for me."

Kit narrowed his eyes in suspicion while his traveling companions looked on in bewilderment.

"Naruto, who is Kurama? And why does he need to be summoned?" Jiraiya asked warily.

Kit ignored him and focused on Her. "How do you know that name?" he asked in a dangerous tone.

**Kit, don't argue. Just do it and maybe we can walk away from this with minimal injuries, **I told him urgently.

**What?! Firetail, you traitor! Don't leave me at her mercy! **Dad wailed.

Kit listened to both of us in confusion. _Wait, so do I summon you or not summon you? _he asked.

**Summon!**

**Don't summon!**

She tapped her foot on the ground impatiently. "I'll give you five seconds before I have to start getting violent," she said warningly. "One... two..."

Kit chose the smarter option and quickly flew through the handseals for summoning. "Kuchoise: Kurama!" he cried.

There was a poof of smoke and when it cleared, my dad was standing there cowering in fear. He had shifted to human form just before the smoke cleared and now had the appearance of a young adult human with spiky red hair and a slightly vulpine appearance.

She nodded in satisfaction and then turned her attention to me. She walked over and grabbed the scruff of my neck, lifting me up to eye level. "Now _you_, little fox, have a lot of explaining to do, and _fast_," she growled.

I nodded so quickly I think I got whiplash. She then dropped me on the ground, where I promptly shifted to human form as well and ran to hide behind Dad.

"It's all his fault! Please don't hurt me," I told her, thinking only in the interests of self-preservation.

Jiraiya suddenly gasped. "Wait, Naruto, is that really..."

"Uh-huh. Everyone, meet Kurama, also known as Kyuubi, and Firetail, Kyuubi's eldest son and my nii-san," Kit replied with a foxy grin. Then he scratched his head in confusion. "I dunno who the woman is, though... oh wait! Nii-san, is she your...?"

I nodded. "Yeah, this is my mom, Sunfur. She's an eight-tailed, so she's stronger than me. And," I gulped nervously. "very, very, mad that I just disappeared for seven years without telling her."

"And not only that, but you never bothered to contact me either! Do you know how worried I've been? One say you're home, the next you're just gone! And a word or a message or anything to let me know you were okay! For all I knew you could have been hurt, or killed, or worse! Then I hear that some of the other kitsune have started to get summoned again, and that their summoner was your human partner!" she ranted with barely any pause, each sentence causing me to flinch. When she put it that way, it did sound pretty bad.

"Mom..." I tried, but apparently she wasn't done.

"But that's not even the worst part. No," her eyes narrowed dangerously. "the worst part is, not only did you send the entire kitsune clan into an uproar, but you worried your little brothers and sisters so much I found them crying themselves to sleep more than once!"

I winced and instantly felt horribly guilty. D***, Mom sure knew how to rub it in.

"Mom, I'm really, really, sorry, but I've been so busy that I guess it just, well, slipped my mind. I keep meaning to get in touch, but every time I try something comes up and I have to put it off. I didn't realize it had been that long," I said apologetically. I held my breath and hoped she would accept it.

Luckily for me, she nodded and crushed me in a tight hug, whispering, "Don't ever worry me like that again, got it?"

I awkwardly hugged her back and replied, "Okay, I won't."

Then we broke apart and she turned to Dad, eyes blazing as she saw him trying to sneak away.

"Now, what's your excuse, mister?" she hissed, grabbing the back of his shirt as he tried to make a break for it. He made a strangled noise that sounded suspiciously like _eep_.

"Well, it's not my fault I was being controlled! One of those d*** Uchihas- Madara I think his name was -put me under a genjutsu! He's the one who made me attack the village! You know I'd never kill that many humans on purpose!" he babbled out quickly.

Mom cocked her head to the side and thought it over. Just as Dad relaxed his guard, though, Mom suddenly slapped him hard across the face. She then proceeded to give him a beating that rivaled even Tsunade's when she caught Ero-sennin peeping. With every smack I was wincing in sympathy, but at the same time was thankful it wasn't me on the receiving end of those punches. Even Jiraiya looked sympathetic.

By the time it was over, Mom looked quite pleased with herself while Dad looked as though he's been sent through a meat grinder, Kyuubi-sized.

"That was for leaving me and getting yourself sealed in another human, _again_," she told him. Then she grabbed the front collar of his shirt and kissed him fiercely.

I groaned and covered my eyes. Almost two hundred years old and I'd still never get used to it. Ugh.

When they broke apart, she dropped him on the ground and said breathlessly, "And _that_ was because even after all that, I still love you. Count yourself lucky."

Then she turned to me and said, "As for you, be sure to come and visit some time this month. Or I will come and _drag_ you over, ya hear?"

I nodded quickly. Mom was satisfied.

"Good. Kurama, once you finally get free for good, try not to get yourself sealed again. I'll be waiting," she purred.

Dad just nodded with a dazed look and a dopey grin on his face. "Okay. Whatever you say, dear."

Mom smirked and transformed into her true fox form, an eight-tailed kitsune with golden fur , white paws, and ruby red eyes. Then she raised her muzzle to the sun and vanished in a flash of light.

Jiraiya broke the silence that ensued. "Soooo... that's quite a woman you got there."

Dad nodded dazedly. I think he was still in shock, both from one two many knocks to the head and Mom's kiss. "Yeah. She's certainly quite a vixen."

"Heh, Mom's still got that fiery spirit," I snickered.

"Shut up, Firetail."


End file.
